My Apologies to the General Public

I should like to apologise to the general public in advance: against medical advice, I am leaving my house today.  This online shopping lark ain’t so convenient, and I keep forgetting to add things to my list, like a light bulb for my living room, or local honey which can only be purchased from the local garden centre, so I find myself having to leave the confines of my home.   Don’t worry, I have my mask and I promise to limit my contact with my fellow human beings to ensure I do not share the contagion that put me in hospital over the festive period.

From Boxing Day 2012 until January 2, 2013 I was in hospital being kept under observation when a cough I contracted continued to leave me unconscious, and any attempt at movement left me vomitting.   I was also just .2 of a degree (celsius) shy of sustaining permanent brain damage, so it’s not hard to understand why I don’t wish to share this infection/inflammation with anyone.  I was released home on the understanding I refrained from going to work, or out in public until such time as my General Practitioner has cleared me.   I am also under orders not to exert myself until such time as the cough has completely disappeared and I was told this could take 10/11 weeks.  Frustrating, since I had started to lose considerable amounts of weight simply by increasing my activity levels – walking 10 miles a day – and now this has to cease, along with my plans to add strength training at the gym.   It could be March before I am able to resume my fitness plan.

All my grocery shopping has been ordered online, but it turns out I am not good at it and keep forgetting essential items.  Given the cost of delivery, I feel I am wasting my money, and I’m pretty sure I can reduce the amount of effort required to run errands by driving as much as possible, and parking close to entrances.   Once my latest grocery delivery has arrived, I shall unpack it and then head out to get the local honey, a light bulb and an iced coffee as a treat.

If you are out later today and happen upon a rather large, middle-aged woman wearing a white mask, please give her a wide berth.   She is attempting to keep you safe from the harm that might befall you if you happen to breathe the same air.

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