Reasons Not to be Cheerful

  1. Started the day with less than two hours sleep;
  2. Arrived 15 minutes early for my consultant’s appointment;
  3. The consultant was 15 minutes late;
  4. Cramps started before I’d even left the hospital;
  5. The pharmacy had to order in my prescription, so no treatment until tomorrow;
  6. Only just made it home in time, but had to run indoors;
  7. Headache started in from a combination of dehydration and lack of sleep;
  8. Tried to sleep, but my body was not having any of it;
  9. Woke at my usual time in pain, having had just 45 minutes of sleep with frequent trips to the bathroom;
  10. Had to step out of the shower three times;
  11. Despite taking every medication I have in my possession; no let-up in sight;
  12. Ran out of paper again;
  13. Telephoned work to say I couldn’t do the commute, so another vacation day gone;
  14. Waited for a gap in episodes and went to get more paper and water;
  15. Arrived at the corner shop, where are there no facilities for the public, barely able to stand up;
  16. The queue was extraordinarily long, adding to my anxiety;
  17. Only just made it home again;
  18. Nausea, pain and exhaustion are usually only relieved by sleep, but every time I try to snooze the pressure on my sides and/or stomach causes me agony and it’s back to the bathroom;
  19. Just remembered today was important at work as we have an essential fire drill (the only one the night shift gets a year);
  20. My left side feels like someone has taken a sharp paint scraper and drawn it down from my rib cage to my thigh and every breath causes it to intensify.

Sorry for not being more upbeat, but after four weeks with only three acute attacks, running out of the meds on the day I see my consultant to finally provide a good update has got me down. The fact that the acute pain in my side is back and it’s difficult to move about doesn’t help. The worst of it is that after such a long period of relief, wherein acute attacks were becoming more infrequent allowing my confidence to make a comeback, and finally being able to spend more time away from home, having a day like today has caused my anxiety to return; the result being I am feeling very down.

I’m hoping tomorrow things will improve and I can forget this glitch in an otherwise steady improvement.

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