Obituary: Common Sense

This has been accredited to the London Times, but has done the rounds of the internet for some time.   Still worthing thinking about though.

“Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years.  No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn’t always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge.)

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.  Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims.  Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home for fear the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a bit in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 step brothers:

I Know My Rights;
I Want It Now;
Someone Else Is To Blame; and
I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.”

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